So today is my birthday. It's been a great day. Lots of birthday wishes from everybody. My friends here organized a party for me and it was awesome. Jocelyn made and brought the Lite Brite sign above. Diane, Jen, Josh, and Jon gave me some hilarious cards. Oh, and I forgot, Ben and Jan kindly gave me a book. "The Gospel and Personal Evangelism" by Mark Dever I think it was. Very nice of them. All in all, a good time guaranteed for all.
This is a post I've been thinking about for a couple of days. It's been bouncing around in my head for a while. I will warn you this is gonna be a long post. It really started about a month or so ago. I was given a guitar for Christmas and have been teaching myself to play. A month ago my friend asked me if it was hard for me to consistently practice. He mentioned that he often didn't practice and it was hard to be diligent. I replied that I really didn't have problems like that. I loved to play it and practice. If I had free time, nearly always I used at some point to play. This really began a thoughtful consideration of why this was so. I looked at my life and noticed that there was little that I was diligent and consistent about. I would always get bored with whatever I had started and leave it unfinished. For example, writing (hehe), I would often get a grand idea, start it and then forget about it a few days later.
I found that this was not true playing guitar. And as I thought back, neither with playing drums. I mean, I taught myself to play drums. I loved it. I practiced for at least an hour every day (much to the annoyance of my family). I would still do so, but my living situation doesn't allow it. I realized that music must be really important to me. I knew I liked music, but I didn't think it was more then that. Music must be something special to me, because playing instruments is one of the few things I pursue with a great deal of passion and commitment. But, I thought back even farther to when I was being taught to play the piano as a young child. I really didn't like it. For years my patient teacher would bear with my nearly complete lack of practice. So, there was an instance of playing an instrument where I was not diligent.
As I continued to remember piano lessons, I thought a time when my teacher wanted me to work on my rhythm and instructed me to listen to the drummer and keep time with my foot (she was from our church). I thought, “Sweet! I do that already!” If any of you see me worship, I'm sure you've noticed that I am always doing that even to this day. It's not even conscious, I have to make an effort to stop :-). It's funny how my primary instrument is the drums now when I remember that time. Later, after years of being taught classical piano, my teacher began to teach us worship songs. I still remember the first song she taught us, “To Be With You”. I was so excited. I practiced like crazy to learn it. I was the first of her students to learn to play it. I learned about half of “We Rejoice In the Grace of God”, then I had to quit to help save my parents money. I remember though being so excited to play worship songs. I thought that this was due to the fact that I knew the songs, but as I've been thinking lately, I believe there is a deeper reason.
So why all this? What have I been babbling on about like this for? Well, because I've realized something. I love music. More then that though. I've come to understand that I love music not for music sake, but because I love to worship God and praise Him through music. When did I really become interested in playing piano? When I began learning worship songs. When I taught myself to play drums, what kind of songs did I practice most to and what was my goal? I practice primarily to worships songs and I most wanted to be able to play on the worship team. When I'm learning songs on the guitar today what songs am I learning and why do I play? I learn worship songs for the most part and all I really want to able to do is be able to whip out my guitar when friends are hanging out and sing worship songs together. This doesn't mean I don't wanna excel. Sure I want to be able play drums like Neil Peart or Mike Portnoy. Sure I would like to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix, but my main desire for and joy from music is worshiping God and giving Him glory. I love music because I love to glorify God with it. I can think of an recent example; just recently the new NA Band album dropped, “Looked Upon”. Now musically I really don't like this album. The mix, the instrumentation just don't work. The bass is non-existent, the drums sound like toys. The only thing that sounds good in the acoustic guitar. Yet, I keep listening to it. Over and over. I 'm learning to play the songs. Why? I think it's because the songs are rooted in the scripture and the Gospel and my soul is being turned towards God in worship. Here is an example of where musically I don't like something, but because God is receiving glory I like it.
Now I'm not saying all this to pat myself on the back. It's really because I'm so humbled by God's graciousness to me. When I see that my desire in and through music is to glorify Him, I'm aware that this desire didn't come from me. Left to my own, I would despise worship songs, and I would glory in music itself and seek to gain my own glory through it. God has graciously given me a love for Him, in particular through music, and I am so humbled and grateful to Him for it and all that He has done for me. This makes me want to praise Him. It's an endless cycle!! I love it!! Therefore, “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power.” Rev 4:11.
